Spin A Tale for the Times

Just like sport and news stories, celebrity gossip must conform to established narratives. Unlike the sport narratives, these tend to be mini-narratives often based on fairy tales, that apply to the fleeting relationships of various personalities.

Take the Brad, Jen and Angelina tale.

Brad marries Jen. It's the fairytale wedding (as they always say).


Yet, just like Tom Thumb and The Snow Maiden and many other tales, the couple remain childless and this is a source of grief.

Enter seductress and siren Angelina, who lures Brad away from Jen. He appears to have newfound happiness, and the liaison overcomes what wrought the previous union marriage – childlessness.


However, cracks appear. Angelina is the siren and seductress and because of this, she has great power. She wields her power over Brad, and he resents this. This leads to the eventual end of their torrid affair.

Back to Jen. She is the heartbroken widow like figure (who like Cinderella has the audience's sypathy), who finds solace in Vince. This is another classic tale in itself.


Vince, the playboy, different-girl-every-night guy, is overcome by Jen's magic such that he puts away his player ways, and his own passion and jealousy for Jen surprises him. Karmatically, he finds himself in the very position he left his many women in.

And a word on TomKat. It is Bluebeard. The powerful, older, more experienced man seduces the young maiden, steals her virtue and with it her freedom.



He is crazy (like Bluebeard), has had many wives (like Bluebeard), keeps Katie captive in his great mansion, while enforcing a strict diet on her (so there's a bit of Pygmalion narrative there, except this time it's evil). And there are parallels to be drawn between the secrecy of Scientology and the veiled TomKitten, Suri, and the locked room containing Bluebeard's wives which Katie may not enter.

I wonder what kind of narrative another could spin for your life? Any suggestions?

Fermented, not brewed.

My cousin Tom created this snazy, ironic design. It's a NoSweat T-shirt and the proceeds go to local Urban mission (read: Emerging Church in Hobart). Contact Shaun or Tom if you want one.

What would Jesus brew?

I submit

And that's not just because its what Emergents drink. I like that crazy leprachaun black stuff. It shamrocks.

Arrested Development

Favourite Moments/Subplots/Things from Arrested Development

• When GOB speaks in his Magic Show voice in the wrong context.
  
  
• George Snr becomes a "rabbi" in prison. Hilarity ensues.
  
  
• Gay strippers pose as policeman at a fake drug-bust at the marina that Michael sets up to teach his son, George Michael, a lesson, but then real policeman arrive, which have in turn been set up by Michael's father George Snr in order to teach Michael not to teach George Michael a lesson. The hilarious chain of events includes the man with one arm reappearing saying "This'll teach you not to teach a lesson!"
  
  
• In the poilot, Tobias accidently boards a pirate-themed gay protest boat.
  
  
• The family "car", the only remaining Bluth "asset", is the stairs-truck for boarding the since aquistioned Bluth family jet.
  
  
• "That Armano fellow!"
  
  
• Father and Son are both in love with the Ethics teacher.
  
  

There are probably heaps of others I have missed. Angus?

The Blusham Family

Look! It's not the Bluth family, it's the Isham family.

Luke

Seth

Shiloh

Geoffrey, the youngest brother we locked in the cellar and left there.

This is an Ironic Post

Did you ever have a crush in highschool that you were embarressed about?

You probably did. Was the reason you were embarressed about it because although said crushee was hot, they were also really uncool? And "coolness" usually trumped "hotness" in highschool, ergo the crush was embarressing?

Or maybe it's embarrassing because you had a crush on the teacher. I can safely say I never had a Pacey/Taylor Townsend/Rushmore/George Michael style crush on any teacher. Okay, I did think along with all the other girls that the new tech teacher was ridiculously good-looking. But that's all. But maybe that's not all for you.

Anyway, back on topic. Things you like that you are embarressed about. Actually, since we're no longer in highschool, we've kind of grown out of being ashamed of our preferences. It's more likely that we'll admit to liking Mariah Carey with a sheepish grin. And Shaun is happy to display his Buffy boxed set instead of hiding it under his bed. And I really like Celtic music, especially with a bit of 80's guitar solo. Chills down the spine.

But yeah, the point of all this is to say, that I think Jason Bateman, who plays Michael Bluth in teh awesome Boxed Set Arrested Development is good looking. I won't post a picture of him because you'll look at it and say "nah, he's not good looking." You have to watch Arrested Development to understand that he actually is.

He looks like a less hot version of this guy (who is currently shares No.1 place with Josh Harnett. Who by the way is with Scarlett Johansson. Wow. Now that is a hot couple)



Which doesn't matter, because if you think person A is hot, and person B looks like person A only a bit less hot, you'll still fancy person B because the fact that they're a bit less hot makes them seem more attainable. Of course, if they were a lot more attainable, then you wouldn't find them attractive, so that there is a critical balance of hotness and attainability.

Just digging a bit deeper... I think girls feel less embarressed about saying a more girly guy like Josh Hartnett looks hot. But if he looks really manly, then it's almost forbidden to say he's hot. It's like "hot" is a word reserved for females, and has only become acceptable to use in reference to some males due to the feminisation of our culture. So saying a guy is "hot" makes him less manly, more vulnerable and the object of the gaze, as women traditionally are. And it's not the gaze of women he's afraid of, it's the gaze of men. For when he becomes a visual object of desire it homosexualises him and thus it makes him vulnerable.... But dude, I'm rambling again. If you've read this far, good on ya mate*.

As I said in the title, this is an ironic post. Use of the "word" hot is an ironic reference to Paris Hilton, and is intended to make fun of her and the silly celebrity phenomenon she represents.

* Before I leave for USA in a few days, I'm trying to develop a bit more occaness.

Going to a Ball Game.

What's the most quintessentially American thing you can think of, other than combo fast-food chains* and apple pie?

I submit that it is "baseball".

That's right, the day I arrive, I get to go to a baseball game with my cousins. They are big fans, so they can explain the rules** to me. This is pretty exciting.



If the Red Socks are playing, I'll barrack for them.

*"Hey Tacos are so GREAT! Kentucky Fried Chicken is so GREAT! Why can't I have Kentucky Fried Chicken in my Taco? Give me some Kentucky Fried Chicken in my Taco!"
** I don't mean the general rules, just the complexities and idiosyncracies that make any game entertaining.

The Jokerman

Bob Dylan explains why he doesn't like new music technology. It's hilarious. Not intentionally though.

Don't get me wrong, I love Bob Dylan, but every muscian has to realise that his new stuff just isn't as good as his old stuff.

Dirty Laundry

Post Secret.

Do you read it?

I read it sometimes, even though I don't like to. It makes me feel like I'm going through the rubbish bin. It also reminds me of humanity's sinful nature, which I don't really need to be reminded of. Sometimes, though, the postcards are touching or just plain ol' "hit-the-nail-on-the-head". Here's some of this week's offerings:

Category "hit-the-nail-on-the-head"

Category Funny

Category Sad

Category Suprising

Names

Bernie, an elder at my church, and his wife Katie have just given birth to a son, Noah. This is great news and a blessing from the Lord.

The Old Testament (or famous musicians) seems to be a popular source for names at Crossroads. If you're planning on having kids in the near future and wish to follow this trend, here are some names I don't reccomend you bestow upon your offspring:

Cain
Ishmael
Korah
Dathan
Abiram
Hophini or Phinehas
Saul
Baal
Samson
Absolam
Sheba (not as Queen, but the "worthless man" of 2 Samuel, chapter 20)
Ahab
Jezebel
Haman
Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar

Here's some that just don't sound too nice:

Tamar
Hagar
Abishag
Dorcas (from the NT. Good woman and all, but yeah)

And some from the New Testament:

Judas
Ananias
Sapphira
Demas
Hymenaeus
Philetus

-------

"Lucius" a kinsman of Paul, gets a fine mention at the end of Romans. It's a good name (and just because it was the name of Jaoquin Pheonix's character in The Village) and underused. This is adventageous, becuse I think I shall add it to my list (either I'm going to have to have lots of kids or give my offspring oldschool-gentry length names).

The Illusion of Accomplishment

Reductionism comes up with some absurd conclusions sometimes, doesn't it? For instance, writing an essay is just hitting a few keys on the key board for a few hours and selecting words on the screen and moving them around a bit.

I can shuffle words around. I can hit a few keys.

Give me a few hours and I can write an essay. A few more hours, and I can write the next edition of the Cambridge Dictionary of Philosophy.

Geek Eye For the Jock Guy

You can find this song somewhere on teh interweb. It's by Tripod, and it's classic.


Geek Eye For The Jock Guy

{the theme song}

One two, you know what to do,

just listen to a geek and you can turn your life around

wear your shining beacon you can seek us out before you run aground

throw your Gatorade away my sporty friend

pizza boxes are the order of the day.

It's geek eye for the jock guy.

Narrator Welcome back to Geek eye for the jock guy.

Last week we showed max the star rugby rover for covert pistons how to make the difficult transition between normal trivial pursuit and Star Wars trivial pursuit. Let's meet the team. They're the Awesome... Fivesome.

{sing}It's Geek eye for the jock guy.

Narrator Andrew!

Andrew {squashed, fast, nerdy voice} Quantum theory's my specialty..oh.. I also have a doctorate in biomechanics but I've been asked to stay with the classifications of what they've called me in this show -

{interrupts} Narrator That that that's great, Andrew that's great, thank you. Next: Michael

{poncy voice} Michael I'm the uh Drama Captain. I play all the lady parts at my all boys school.

Narrator John:

{nervous nerdy voice} John I'm into dungeons...

Narrator Jack:

Jack ..and I'm into dragons.

Narrator And Scott:

Scott I'm in Tripod

{sing} Geek Eye for the Jock guy.

Narrator Let's meet our Jock for the week. Davin. He's a goal keeper for the... rugby. He's also an excellent basketball... swimmer. Davin's challenge is to impress the girlfriend he's already going out with.

{sing}This week is a challenge for our rag-tag fleet of nerds. Did you just spot that [quote] from BattleStar Galactica?

Narrator Did you spot the reference Davin?

{grunty voice}Davin Nuh

Narrator Well we've got a lot of work to do then. But don't beat yourself up over it. Someone else will beat you up for that.

Narrator How to dress like a nerd: John from dungeons and Jack from dragons:

John and Jack I think it w-would be excellent if if you h-had a cloak of magnificence. Plus four. I think it b-be excellent. Yes that's a great idea. Yes that's a really good idea Jack. Y-yeah and a dinosaur ninja t-shirt. Chicks love that. And maybe a plastic {stutters} -

{interrupts} Narrator How, how... (Shut up!)....how to kiss like a girl. No! How to kiss a girl. Oh, I read that wrong. Andrew (Quantum theory):

Andrew Well according to Steven Hawking -

{interrupts} Narrator How to impress a girl, Michael, drama captain:

Michael Well, girls are often impressed by positions of status such as uh being a modern major general or captain of the Pinafore.

Narrator How to speak like a geek, Scott:

Scott It's all to do with the epiglottis.

{sing the theme song} Just listen to a geek and you can turn your life around....

Pets.

Are your family pets like your family members?

Ours are. It's like they are socialized that way, by virtue of being human artifacts.

We used to have a lovely cat called Little Oh. He was a large tabby, who was for the first few years of his life grumpy and sensitive. He was then forced to share his dominion with two kittens, Napoleon and Kristy. His personality changed dramatically, and he became a friendly, affectionate cat with a very loud, enthusiastic purr. He remained sensitive, and became the sort of old man cat for whom you feel ought to pay a lot of respect. Little Oh was a bit like my dad, except my dad is certainly not grumpy.

After he passed away, we got to know the two “kittens” better. We discovered that Kristy wasn't actually a cat, but devil spawn. As aloof and snarky as me on a bad day. He met a suitable end.



Napoleon, a soft grey and white cat with golden eyes, has the Isham enthusiasm and insanity, and is sociable and affectionate like my brother Seth. Napoleon has a veritable array of meows, grunts and purrs, which he has surely picked up from the many one-sided conversations we have with him.

Not the Same.

The Golden Rule is oft cited as a convergence point for the essences of the world's religions. "Do unto others as you would have them do to you," said Jesus. And Buddha and Confucius.

Or did they?

I'm not sure Buddha even said it, but Confucius said "Do not do unto others what you would not want others to do unto you" (The Analects, XII:2, XV:24). Oh, that's just the Silver Rule; the Golden Rule stated negatively. Essentially, it is the same as what Jesus said.

No, it's not.

The important word here is do. Expressed by Jesus it represents action; it reminds us that love is action. God is active in the world, and his greatest act was to love the world through Jesus, in order to bring people to himself. Expressed by Confucius, accompanied by a negation, it makes virtue of inaction. Meditation and asceticism are paths to the ultimate state of existence; seamless integration with the universe which is paradoxically a non-existence.

One might turn then, and resort to a different point of convergence: unity. Eastern religions allow a unity with the "god" (ie the universe) by transcending incarnation through meditation and self-denial. But this is a different kind of unity. Christians have unity with a personal God. On the last day, when Christ returns to judge individuals, those in Christ will finally and fully be united with him. Yet we shall in some sense retain our identities, not marked by sin, but changed and redeemed, like the new bodies Christ shall give us.

Confucius say "Not all world religions are same."

"I need some information...

...first."

Here's a lexicon:

George Orwell or shortened to Orwell meaning "oh, well".

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs when you wish to answer in the affirmative (from "yeah, yeah, yeah" - as Des Smith says it).

That's what I'm Tolkien about. You know; talk-ing.

How's the Weber today? Or Nice Weber, eh? Weber = weather. Yeah, you got that.

You can slap me later.

Politically Incorrect Playmobile

Playmobile holds a special, magical place in my memory. But it's fun to look back on it with adult eyes.

"All the bigger ones have been bagged already."

"She comes with the carpet."

The other three are back in the tent.


Weapon trading.

This one is officially called "Native's Teepee".

I thought playmobile was intended for internalising desirable social institutions.

Hat tip to Angus.

Taking Stock of Woodstock

Angus was driving north to Burnie for social reasons, including a cowboy party, so he and I came to a mutally agreeable arrangment - a lift for me and road-trip company for him. We listened to Beth Orton, Sleepy Jackson and Kaynee West, ate m&m's and discussed loose, desperate women.

I arrived at Camp Clayton before official registration and just in teatime for the trainers (but not the "atendees"). I would have had to fork out $15 for a camp meal or go hungry, if Desmond hadn't kindly invited me to eat dinner for free. I probably shouldn't have been worried, because Camp Clayton overfeeds you. Tea was a beef schnitzel with "seasonal vegies" from the freezer.

I somehow successfully organised a game of Esquisite Corpse Version 2.0. Once people like Mikey got the hang of it, our collective consciousness was absurdistly and hilariously revealed. Bron might post the superlatives (like the one about the penguins).

The non-scaby attendees arrived after 7pm. Crossroaders, leaders and Dutch people from the Reformed Church (including people younger than me from school - just how I remembered them except re-sized. That was encouraging; to see them grow as Christians).

John Woodhouse spoke at about 8:30pm on 1 Samuel, I can't remember the exact content, but I'm sure someone else with a blog who also attended Woodstock will recount this bit.

Bed was late, I was hyperactive and singing "Lost me jumper on the dance floor/where's me jumper yeah" in a pov Brittish accent, and no one was believing me that it is a real song (this happened a lot during conference).

Was up early on Saturday morning, and I ran on the beach. It was here I encountered a dead sheep. I have no idea how a dead sheep would end up on a beach. I'll leave that to CSI.

John Woodhouse spoke and Pete Woodcock spoke, but I can't remember in which order. But they were teh 4wesome. John did a great exegesis of 1 Samuel in a Phillip Jensen voice (actually, that's his real accent). Pete ripped the pulpit like a fiery Welshman from the 19th Century and at one point he got so excited about the Glory of God that he ranted at the wall.

I'm usually no fan of illustrations, but Pete gave one that actually worked for Romans 1:22-23

Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Paul is saying that not only is idolatry wrong in that it mocks the glory of God, but it is also, feeble, myopic and impotent. Say you get a /insert your favourite artist here/ orginal and get it colour photocopied. You swap the original Bosch with the colour photocopy. "Isn't this colour photocopy lovely?" You then take it to the Newsagent swap it with them for a black and white photocopy. Then you go to your friend's place who has an old dot-matrix printer. You scan in the balck and white photocopy, give it to your friend and print out the copy-of-a-copy-of the Bosch and take it home, proudly showing it to your family.

How can you trade God, who is ruler, creator, all-powerful sustainer of the universe, and judge of all humankind for a feeble idol? Whether it be Baal, Allah, Buddah, money, sex, career, spouse, children, thoughts & feelings, learning or even the Bible itself? How could you possibly worship such a feeble copy of a copy of a copy?

I'm going to ponder more what John Woodhouse said about 1 Samuel, and write about that later.

There were a few awkward moments at the conference. I actually don't mind awkward moments so much these days, although if these moments that happened but had not been awkward then that would have been better.

I said something that implied that a Church in Hobart was "in a bad way" because a woman had to step up and lead due to lack of male leadership. It made sense in my head, but as soon as I said it, I realised that I had just offended a few people in the room. I felt I had to say it though, because women in leadership is an important issue. I would have liked to apologised to the women who might have been offended. I wouldn't have apologised for the content of what I said, just for my perhaps insensitive delivery. But I was too much of a coward to approach them. If I see them again, I'll say something.

Woodstock, in Christian parlance, "challenged me". I didn't hit a high at the conference, but I was encouraged to think of my entire life as glorifying God. I was also humbled; to think of my life as service to God, challenged to stop being selfish just as Christ is selfless. Jesus Christ is the exact representation of God (not a feeble copy), he is God and he demands our worship and service. So that is what I now do. Glory to God!

Other people who have written about the conference or may do so in the future:

Bron

Josh and Geo

Mike Jolly

Mikey

Simon

Jono

I also bought a couple of books from the impressive and obscourely categorised bookstall. Practical Christianity by Pink (the cover, incidently was low-grade paper white. I figure this is so that the reader can choose how best to colour the cover. I am cross-hatching with a red marker in order to give the desired pink effect). I also bought some Spurgeon sermons with an introduction by his (so the cover informs us) great-great-great grandson Ray Comfort, who is of course from The Souuuth. The title is Spurgeon Gold. Pure. Refined. I think I just bought it for the title really. Too funny.

A Word on Profiling

Profiling, hey?

I'm all for it.

If a guy comes through the airport in hollowed out shoes, a copy of the Q'uran with bomb-making instructions printed in the back and his name is Mohammad Almutadi, then I think it is "fair enough" to bar him from boarding the plane.

On the same token, I have no problem with security taking their time with me because of my Middle Eastern sounding name. If they do this, then I can rest assured in the knowledge that security is good.

What do you think of profiling as a security measure?

Poetry

Here is a poem my dad wrote. I don't just think it's a good poem because my dad wrote it. It really is a good poem. Go read it. Slowly. And consider it.

Today I learnt some things about poetry. Well, I already knew of the iambic pentameter, but I hadn't really taken it seriously when writing. Now I shall write slower and not just because I've woken up at 5am and seen the sunrise.

What Makes Me Cry

Get your Rosaries off our Ovaries!

But they've got it all wrong.

So often the "problem" as it is presented to the populous is divorced from reality. Abortion is presented as a right, and those moralizing, patriarchal, "Christian" men in power are the ones out to oppress women by robbing them of this basic right. Liberation equates to free and easy access to abortion.

But the reality is the perfect opposite; abortion is oppression. Or more precisely, abortion is a way men oppress women.

Actually, abortion is symptomatic of the bigger problem of male-female oppression in our society. I don't think women are oppressed in the conventional glass-ceiling type ways. Instead, one of the ways that men oppress women is by failing to take responsibility (ie to lead).

Say a man and woman are in a common-law relationship. They sleep together, as modern people might do in such an arrangement. The woman becomes pregnant. Notice we don't normally say "the man impregnates the woman". Is this just because we aren't crass, or does our wording here belie our attitudes to women?

Anyhow, the man wishes the woman to have an abortion. Why? Listen to any Hip-Hop and you'll know that a baby in the picture means 18 years of child support. If you had any other plans for your life, 18 years of child support is going to be quite a drain on your finances, especially if you're an unemployed 20 year old.

But taking responsibility for one's actions means just that. Since the beginning men have blamed women for sex (although, in some myths, the woman carries no "seed", she is merely the vessel). The siren, the enchantress, the seductress are all too common motifs in literature. But again, the popular presentation lies and men need to take responsibility for baby-making. This means not opting for the easiest solution; and not burying the problem (actually, I'm mixing metaphors here. No one buries babies at an abortion clinic, since no one there thinks they're humans worthy of burial).

One of my close friends works for a pregnancy counseling service. She speaks to many men who "just wish their selfish girlfriends would get an abortion".

But going back to our couple earlier. Even if she does not wish to have an abortion, but bring the baby to term, then it is highly likely that her boyfriend will pressure her into having an abortion. Here, in what way is the man oppressing the woman? In failing to care for her and the baby.

There are many reasons why a woman may have an abortion. But a common reason is pressure from a man. No one talks about this.

-----

Since I have never been pregnant, one might say I am unqualified to talk on this topic. But that is not true. It is not unlikely that I could be in a situation, say married for just a few months, poor and studying, where having a baby would be most inconvenient.

But children are a gift from God! How could I ever value my own convenience over a human life?

-----

Sherrin has some interesting this to say about the contraceptive pill. Like Sherrin, I'm not judging any woman who does use the pill by posting the link here. I am personally agnostic on the matter.

-----

I saw a book today: 10,000 Names for Your Baby. So your full-grown adult offspring will have to carry around a name intended for an infant?

Sleep Deprived Regression

Been up since five, or earlier since I had trouble sleeping. I went on a run, ate some dark chocolate, ate some apple (more effective than coffee for waking you up), danced to Scissor Sisters, and I cannot nap but neither can I think clearly. I'm a zombie, roaming this earth, seeing dark shapes dart across the room, across the page... oh they're letters and speaking boldly because I have no energy to even register embarresment.

And then a conjunct here or there, followed by the consequent; I read sentences out of order, first the consequent, not understanding it semantically. Or syntactically.

It's like I've regressed into the natural; I'm unable to draw meaning from the external world or to make rational connections. Soon my brow will draw back into an acute angle, my nose will flatten, my chin will disapear - homo erectus - the distance between my mouth and nose will grow, my hairline will recede, my hips will narrow, my arms will grow - homo habilis - I will be covered in thick body hair, my statue will diminish, my posture will crumple - australopithecines - my brow bridge will grow, my feet will become like hands, my cranium will shrink, my shoulders will narrow and the bows of trees will seem like very nice places to be, if I even can percieve, being a common primate.

And then the opposable thumbs will disapear, and I will no longer enjoy the commany of the group, prefering to hunt solitarily, on all fours, dodging the diplodocuses while I nibble on their eggs. And then my blood turns cold, and I swagger like one of the reptiles by the shores of a permian lake.

I step backwards into the water, growing scales, shrinking, loosing sex organs, shrinking further until I am just one cell, and then it Dawkin's vision, a DNA strand, no longer seeking to replicate (if we can speak in such way). And then carbon atoms on a lonely space rock, from the centre of a star, a clump of hot gases, in a dumb, sleepy universe...

The Stones Cry Your Name (Redux)

Dad says you've got to keep refining:

Phosphorus rises above the ripening and fades;

I hear the globe rotate

Rock grind against rock, the tombstone rolls

Sound of greater certainty.

Hilarious

Our cat does this wierd massaging thing, except he does it to humans, not dogs. You have to watch this video.

Morning Star (The Stones Cry Your Name)

Phosphorus rises above the ripening morning and fades;

I hear the globe rotate

Rock grind against rock, the tombstone rolling

The sound of greater certainty.

How To Talk To Boys

I said I'd post on what makes me cry, but this isn't it. Boys don't make me cry and neither does talking to them (ekk awkward conjunct). The previously promised post will come later.

You'd think, why do girls need to be told how to talk to guys? Girls talk heaps (or so the stereotype goes). But talking heaps does not equate with talking well or having good conversational skills or even having good social skills. Crazy. Who would have thought?

Now, am I qualified to be an authority on this topic? Well, not being an authority on a topic has never stopped me from giving advice on my blog, but just this time I will give you some SCIENCE. Ahem. Studies have shown that people with older siblings of the oppostite sex are more adept at talking to people of the opposite sex. They make eye contact, ask more questions, respond better and smile when smiled at. I think this is generally true, except I would make an exception with Angus who has only younger sisters (but they're quite close in age).

Aneeeway, here are the tips:

Do:

1 Be knowledgable (or at least appear to be) about some "guy" topics like computers, sport, warfare, cars, science, technology, engineering feats and Star Wars. Gender neutral topics such as music and bands are good too.

2 Ask questions about the above fields. Don't be afraid to get into an involved discussion about future of space ship fuel. Don't pretend you know more than you do, but don't be afraid to ask questions.

3 Do a little probing to find out what is the topic he's really into and let him talk about that. (this works for girls too!)

4 Make eye contact, nod and listen. Let him to most of the talking.

Don't:

1 Talk too much about yourself. Avoid topics such as your weight issues, your hair issues, your skin issues, your ex-boyfriend issues.

2 Gossip. Actually, this applies to everyone.

3 Ask too many questions that will make him feel vulnerable. These might be topics he knows little about or issues he feels insecure about.

Um, yeah, there you have it. My two bobs worth. I could be totally wrong and totally unqualified in giving this advice. And there's probably heaps of points I missed. What do you think?

Tears

I'm not a crier, but some things make me want to cry.

I'll tell you about them in the next post.

In Today's Mail

Inside:

I hope he doesn't mind me posting it here, it's just that I thought it was a pretty awesome gift.

Indie Flicks

"Ohhhh yuhs. Let's put on our vintage wear and be suburban and arty: Let's make a Po-mo Indie film."

Addicted, yet detached. Like an Indie Film.

I just saw Me, you and everyone we know. I didn't really rate it, although the child actors were great and it was so well edited and filmed, I couldn't help but want the movie to keep going.

Other films in the genre:

- About Schmidt

- Thumbsucker

- The Royal Taunenbaums

- Shop Girl

- Napoleon Dynamite

- The Squid and The Whale

- The upcoming Little Miss Sunshine

Elements required by the genre:

- 70's Organ Solos

- Retro dresses

- Lots of silence

- Dysfunction/angst

- An artist working a low end job waiting for her big break

- Middle America

- Close-ups of ordinary objects

- Minimal dialouge, and of that, a good percetage must be absurdist

- Naught melodrama, minimal emotion

I welcome your suggestions.

Salt

Yesterday I bought some anchovy stuffed olives. Maybe I'll serve them with bacon, pretzels, dutch licorice and extra salt.

In other salty news, I'm reading From Glory to Golgotha: Controversial Issues in The Life of Christ by Donald Macleod. Although it's not indorsed by JI Packer, it does have accolades from hearty, salty Scottish Reformed types on the back. And there's a wee thumbnail of Donald Macleod and he looks the hearty, salty type.

Anyhow, I am actually reading the book and I am actually past page 30.

Despite it's juicy subtitle this is a really good theological book. As well as putting the colour and flavour back into theology (that many books from a certain denomination on Australia's east coast often remove for the sake of accesibility), Macleod corrects bad theology, demonstrates the motivation behind the controversial issues, emphasises the centrality and lordship of Christ and issues cutting, real challenges to the reader:

"...the cross must not be made an archetype or the excuse for our own weakness. The temptation is ver strong. An impotent ministry, declining attendences, failed church extension - our self-pity can easily project these as 'our cross'." (p102)

I reccomend this book to the time-poor sorts of people, who will read it in a few hours and then realise that the reason that they're too time-poor to read theology is because they haven't prioritised their life around Jesus, and so they'll go back and read the Bible and Macleod's expansion of From Glory to Golgotha, The Person of Christ and many other good theological books. (I, by the way, fall into this category too)

A Poem

Remember when you were brilliant
The sun shone in your eyes.
Your mind was runny honey
Dripped across the page.

You return years later,
And cannot recall where
this sticky mess came from.

Things I'm looking forward to in America:

American lemonade

People saying what they mean

Customer service

Different accents

Junkets

Wierd flavoured soft drinks

Diners

Warm weather (at least for a bit)

Green hills, deciduous trees and "fall" leaves

Fat people

Sprawling houses with big white pillars and SUV's parked out the front

Just the general "bigness" of everything

A night's sky that's upside down

Ich kanne nicht vollende.

Camp Concentration bei Thomas M. Disch.
Lesezeichnen, esse ist auf der Tisch.