What Makes Me Cry
Get your Rosaries off our Ovaries!
But they've got it all wrong.
So often the "problem" as it is presented to the populous is divorced from reality. Abortion is presented as a right, and those moralizing, patriarchal, "Christian" men in power are the ones out to oppress women by robbing them of this basic right. Liberation equates to free and easy access to abortion.
But the reality is the perfect opposite; abortion is oppression. Or more precisely, abortion is a way men oppress women.
Actually, abortion is symptomatic of the bigger problem of male-female oppression in our society. I don't think women are oppressed in the conventional glass-ceiling type ways. Instead, one of the ways that men oppress women is by failing to take responsibility (ie to lead).
Say a man and woman are in a common-law relationship. They sleep together, as modern people might do in such an arrangement. The woman becomes pregnant. Notice we don't normally say "the man impregnates the woman". Is this just because we aren't crass, or does our wording here belie our attitudes to women?
Anyhow, the man wishes the woman to have an abortion. Why? Listen to any Hip-Hop and you'll know that a baby in the picture means 18 years of child support. If you had any other plans for your life, 18 years of child support is going to be quite a drain on your finances, especially if you're an unemployed 20 year old.
But taking responsibility for one's actions means just that. Since the beginning men have blamed women for sex (although, in some myths, the woman carries no "seed", she is merely the vessel). The siren, the enchantress, the seductress are all too common motifs in literature. But again, the popular presentation lies and men need to take responsibility for baby-making. This means not opting for the easiest solution; and not burying the problem (actually, I'm mixing metaphors here. No one buries babies at an abortion clinic, since no one there thinks they're humans worthy of burial).
One of my close friends works for a pregnancy counseling service. She speaks to many men who "just wish their selfish girlfriends would get an abortion".
But going back to our couple earlier. Even if she does not wish to have an abortion, but bring the baby to term, then it is highly likely that her boyfriend will pressure her into having an abortion. Here, in what way is the man oppressing the woman? In failing to care for her and the baby.
There are many reasons why a woman may have an abortion. But a common reason is pressure from a man. No one talks about this.
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Since I have never been pregnant, one might say I am unqualified to talk on this topic. But that is not true. It is not unlikely that I could be in a situation, say married for just a few months, poor and studying, where having a baby would be most inconvenient.
But children are a gift from God! How could I ever value my own convenience over a human life?
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Sherrin has some interesting this to say about the contraceptive pill. Like Sherrin, I'm not judging any woman who does use the pill by posting the link here. I am personally agnostic on the matter.
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I saw a book today: 10,000 Names for Your Baby. So your full-grown adult offspring will have to carry around a name intended for an infant?
3 Comments:
Yes, we need to be crying about this.
No one talks about this.
Melinda Tankard Reist does.
By Anonymous, At 8:02 PM
Oops - forgot the link - Melinda Tankard Reist.
By Anonymous, At 8:03 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By Ruth, At 8:44 PM
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