What is Up.
So yeah, I haven't posted in a while. A lot has happened.
1) Changed residency. I now live with GQmag and James on Beat Poet's Rd. I don't have the internet set up there yet. It's on Alex's To Do List.
2) I've realised how busy I ought to be right now. Crossroads, people, looking for jobs, doing Masters, admin, watching boxed sets. I anticipate the busy-ness so much that I'm going to have to go part time study. Thankfully I have a white board, which is a good way to get organised. It does not, however, replace motivation which is a key component in being an organised person.
3) Realised how many things I'm addicted to including sugar. Today is a refined sugar free day. There have been many temptations, including Jeremy's caramel slice and Ann-Petra's post FOCUS cherry slice. Another addiction is "bad boys" (which is a related addiction to sugar), which is so embaressing and lame, I know. I even feel lame writing about it. Although, I think it is a fallacy to think that exciting & interesting guy = bad guy.
4) Emily lent me Boundaries Before Marriage, which I wish I'd read earlier. Has made me realise how much I need to change (or rather what God will change) before I can contemplate another relationship. I'm hoping I can internalise it all so that it revolutionises my way of thinking about relationships.
5) Have you ever read Elements of Style? I think blogs would fail the high standards put forward by White, not least because the style is totally self-centred, a big no-no. But on the other hand, it's not like this is a great literary effort I'm expecting people to read and appreciate and *pay for*.
1) Changed residency. I now live with GQmag and James on Beat Poet's Rd. I don't have the internet set up there yet. It's on Alex's To Do List.
2) I've realised how busy I ought to be right now. Crossroads, people, looking for jobs, doing Masters, admin, watching boxed sets. I anticipate the busy-ness so much that I'm going to have to go part time study. Thankfully I have a white board, which is a good way to get organised. It does not, however, replace motivation which is a key component in being an organised person.
3) Realised how many things I'm addicted to including sugar. Today is a refined sugar free day. There have been many temptations, including Jeremy's caramel slice and Ann-Petra's post FOCUS cherry slice. Another addiction is "bad boys" (which is a related addiction to sugar), which is so embaressing and lame, I know. I even feel lame writing about it. Although, I think it is a fallacy to think that exciting & interesting guy = bad guy.
4) Emily lent me Boundaries Before Marriage, which I wish I'd read earlier. Has made me realise how much I need to change (or rather what God will change) before I can contemplate another relationship. I'm hoping I can internalise it all so that it revolutionises my way of thinking about relationships.
5) Have you ever read Elements of Style? I think blogs would fail the high standards put forward by White, not least because the style is totally self-centred, a big no-no. But on the other hand, it's not like this is a great literary effort I'm expecting people to read and appreciate and *pay for*.
posted by The Borg at
1:54 PM
25 Comments:
Woah, that's a revealing blog post! I'm wondering if it is going to get a hasty re-edit tomorrow morning... ;-)
Are you seriously going part-time with your study????
By
Craig Schwarze, At
5:29 PM
Yeah been chatting a bit about the whole "nice girl, bad boy" phenomen with girl at work. It's very frustrating for all those nice dudes out there who just want to enjoy a healthy and happy relationship. Would be interested to read your thoughts on why it happens so often :)
White board is a great idea. And I've got Scrubs for you to watch when you're done with other boxed sets ;)
By
Angus, At
6:46 PM
Would be interested to read your thoughts on why it happens so often :)
Well, IMABHO, its the whole excitement/thrill/fun thing. And the possibility of taming this guy that no other chick has been able to.
I agree it's frustrating for nice guys. Then again, as an ex- of the author, I may not qualify for that category..!
By
Craig Schwarze, At
10:05 PM
Craig, you're a nice guy. That's why it didn't work out for us. But then again, you do have a few traits that are "bad boy".
For all the nice boys out there, if they just for a little bit, wore the hat of a "bad boy" they might be less frustrated.
A revealing post? It gets comments. And its quite possibly a lot less revealing than you think. There is much much more going on than I care to tell the world.
Angus, I think the nice girl goes for the bad boy because he's seen as manly and in charge. The nice girl might also have insecurities about her own feminity and an inability to get emotionally close and a desire to look like she's always got it together which attracts her to emotionally unavaliable guys (who have the facade of masculinity).
Craig, why are you so surprised I'm going part time?
By
The Borg, At
12:27 PM
Craig, you're a nice guy. That's why it didn't work out for us.
Yeah, I'm always far too nice with girls. But hey, that's who I am... ;-)
Craig, why are you so surprised I'm going part time?
It seems very GenY to go part-time in order to fit in an active social life
By
Craig Schwarze, At
1:04 PM
Bad boys vs. nice guys issues. Oh the stupidity of how it all plays out every day!
Interesting topics you brought up especially mind-bending as my little sis has had almost the exact same "bad" boy issue at the age of 15 as I had (and this happened only the other day to her) - go out with them for a little while, and they dump you out of the blue, with no real reason. My poor sis :(
A similar can of worms with Christian guys - the age-old "they-are too weak, immature and don't take responsibility" argument. They have both been highly debated without many real answers. And I don't think I have any either!
By
Erica, At
4:00 PM
Although, I think it is a fallacy to think that exciting & interesting guy = bad guy
Totally. The reverse is also untrue (bad guy = exciting and interesting guy). I know a few "hot", exciting, interesting, charming guys who aren't bad dudes. They have the chicks falling over themselves. They're just not looking for girlfriends right now (do I have to make it clear I'm not talking about myself here?). And at least a couple of them aren't in your age range Shi :)
By
Angus, At
4:15 PM
The questions of the day: What is the difference between someone who "isn't looking for anyone right now" and someone who really isn't?!
By
Erica, At
4:20 PM
the age-old "they-are too weak, immature and don't take responsibility"
Isn't that short-hand for "I'm just not attracted to the single guys at my church" ?
By
Craig Schwarze, At
4:31 PM
"Isn't that short-hand for "I'm just not attracted to the single guys at my church" ?"
Lol, well done Craig! There is only one guy my age at my church who is single, so is that not fair enough?!
Actually, my comment come mostly out of youth ministry issues with an all-male leadership team. But thank God times one million there is now another female on the team :)
By
Erica, At
4:39 PM
I fully understand the "weak" comment - I hear that a lot from christian chicks that the church guys are all wimps. One of my little projects is the promotion of martial arts amongst the guys at my church.
But I dunno about the "irresponsible" and "immature" comment. In what ways are Christian guys more so than non-Christian guys?
By
Craig Schwarze, At
5:21 PM
"One of my little projects is the promotion of martial arts amongst the guys at my church."
Great project.
"But I dunno about the "irresponsible" and "immature" comment. In what ways are Christian guys more so than non-Christian guys?"
They aren't, but . . . doesn't make it good!
By
Erica, At
6:09 PM
Maybe "immature" could mean a lack of real-world understanding? Like a lot of Christian guys have had a very sheltered upbringing that means they don't have to make the tough decisions about how they're going to live their life. They can seem immature and fluffy compared to non-christian guys their own age, who can appear more confident and focused. However, I'd say there are a lot of immature non-christian guys out there too. The girls just don't find them attractive, so they don't compare them to their christian friends ;)
And again with the "irresponsible" (I know where you're coming from on this Sparky, but the others probably don't!). I think the forgiving nature of Christian circles can allow some guys to get lazy. They can be irresponsible, not bother to do things etc, because they can get away with it. They haven't had a real-world experience where their irresponsibility or laziness has cost them something personal. Of course, the same can be true for non-christian guys. It's just that they don't get noticed by the nice christian girls ;)
I'm just putting that out there - I'm happy for someone to shoot it down if they disagree :)
By
Angus, At
7:08 PM
Angus - Hmm, not really sure I'm there with you on the immature front, but YES YES YES YES about the irresponsible comment! Which probably ties in with the immaturity. And also true I don't exactly study the lives of non-Christian guys (or Christian guys either... you know what I mean!).
By
Erica, At
7:42 PM
In my experience, it's been Christian guys that are mature and responsible. Maybe a bit niave occasionally, and not worldly and street-smart sometimes, but these things do not equate with maturity!
By
The Borg, At
10:21 PM
Lucky you, Shyborg! I don't think worldliness or street-smarts = maturity.
By
Erica, At
8:52 AM
And I didn't mean that last comment to sound nasty, I'm just in a rush! And thinking about how to explain what I mean...
By
Erica, At
8:55 AM
Christian girls are lucky enough to have a "textbook answer" on what a partner should be like: he should (in a small way) be like Jesus. He should experience genuine joy at your presence; he should make sacrifices for your benefit; he should encouage you to make a contribution to the world; he should help you become, not a different person, but a better and happier version of who you are.
CS Lewis talks about each man being attracted to two types of women: to his infernal and to his celestial Venus. I assume it's the same for girls.
By
Radagast, At
1:43 PM
Wow. I didn't know CraigS and Borg had a relationship. Typical, I'm always the last to know these things, even in cyberspace.
Although it does explain his T-Shirt comments last year.
On a different note - the Ann-Petra you mention. Does she have a husband called Sam who is in ministry?
By
Neil Cameron (One Salient Oversight), At
3:38 PM
lol - ancient history OSO...
By
Craig Schwarze, At
3:42 PM
Radagast thank you for your wisdom. We met your sister & 3 of her children yesterday (with JD). :-)
By
Anonymous, At
4:25 PM
Shybord - Nope can't explain myself any better than Angus' comment about being "irresponsible."
Radagast - Well put.
By
Erica, At
4:49 PM
HI shiroh,
shoudl also read "not even a hint" by Josh Hartnett, or whatever that christian guys name is that wrote "I kissed ating goodbye".
he has some well developed theological bases for his points, good illutsrations and its very readable.
Love you
By
The Librarian, At
3:09 PM
Thanks Aims!
I'd read anything by Josh Hartnett. ;)
Joshua Harris.
By
The Borg, At
3:52 PM
Aims, they've recently released that book with the slightly-less-subtle title "Sex is not the problem (lust is)"
By
Craig Schwarze, At
12:29 PM
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