Who You Value
Would you agree that this is true: the people you value the most are not those who wowed you most with their wittiness, fun-ness, intelligence or glamour, but those who showed you kindness?
posted by The Borg at
8:35 PM
7 Comments:
I'd say that's much more true for me now than it was when I was a kid.
By
Emi, At
10:20 PM
When I was a kid (three years ago) it was likewise less true for me.
By
The Borg, At
10:34 PM
Yet kindness is still underrated. And the word nice gets such harsh treatment, yet is one of the characteristics that seems to be an ongoing form of kindness. Pure gold.
By
BSJ-rom, At
10:00 AM
I remember being a kid and we did an activity in class where everyone had to write something positive about everyone else.
I remember getting a lot of 'she's nice' comments, and being upset by that because I wanted 'she's pretty' or 'she's amazing'. Even now, 'she's nice' is used by a lot of people who just say it because they are totally underwhelmed by the person. It's barely even a compliment.
'She's so nice' or 'she's so kind' are better.
By
Emi, At
10:28 AM
Stereotype of a nice person:
Because you're not an attention seeker, you're not some glamourous goddess, you don't rely on others for validation, people see you and see someone who continuously produces acts of kindness (perhaps punctuated with periods of neutrality) - ie someone who is nice. People don't feel they have to get to know you better because you're not seeking that attention. You have close friends because you are nice, and it is those friends who would use different adjectives.
But yes, nice can be quite underwhelming - despite the truths behind it.
By
BSJ-rom, At
10:36 AM
I think valueing kindness more than the other things is a sign of maturity.
I think the Apostle Paul would agree:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but don’t have love, I am only an echoing urn or a clanging cymbal.
And if I can prophesy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have surpassing faith so as to move mountains, but don’t have love, I am nothing.
By
Radagast, At
3:01 PM
Interesting question. I think its especially true when you're going/have gone through a hard time for a long time, and then you find out who you really value, and why. In my experience its sadly not often who you thought you could/would rely on, but otoh its nice to be surprised by those that do come through for you, which I guess could be described as kindness.
I want to say something about 'kindness' being (unfortunately?) seen as a feminine trait, but I'm not sure if that actually is the case, oh my brain :S
By
Anonymous, At
12:16 AM
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